The last couple of months have been especially hard for me, in choosing what I want to do with my life. My University time is almost up, and I think everyone at this point in life really does question ‘Where am I going?’.
As an artist I wanted to start my own T-shirt design company, and I still very much do, but after toiling over it in my head, I just don’t think im ready for a commitment like that straight away. I feel I need to develop myself as an artist more, try and craft a style (which I could moan for hours about) and attempt not to emulate another. I have so many good ideas (in my opinion), and can be described as an idea factory, but never get them down and done, because of other commitments. Mostly University work to be honest.
I have also seen the light when it comes to my degree, its not for me, yeah its Art, but its has a certain lack of freedom, no matter which way you look at it. And I think anyone that’s leaving/left Uni, realizes that a degree counts for *beep* all today.
My chosen subject of Animation is tedious, its not like painting a picture, or drawing. Its about doing the same thing again and again, with careful planning, there is no sense of spontaneity, which some people like, but I think it grounds me. You have to plan (for industry) I can’t just pick up a pencil or a mouse/graphics tablet pen and start scrawling away. Don’t get me wrong I completely respect the it and all the people involved, but again, its not for me.
So after mass deliberation with myself, I think above all I crave the freedom of ‘no homework’, and a steady job with steady income (I’ve got everything else, loving family and girlfriend), that requires me to go home and rest and not worry about what tomorrow brings. I think in the next year or so is when I will really discover what I want to be, even if it is just another person stuck in the rat race, that goes home and quietly paints in his room.